I saw Cali's body-- black and empty against the colorful darkness-- laid in her bed where I left her, and watched her body breathe in and out for a while. I just watched. I could see the black space of her chest rising and falling, covering and uncovering the pretty, shifting lattices behind her. She's breathing. She's alive. She's...

"I just don't understand why this is so important to you," he said as he raised his voice loud enough for her to feel shame across her whole body, "our family deserves more than this cramped, pathetic little space."

I tried to keep my focus on her rising chest or the pretty colors, but, "I just, I like it here," escapes her lips meekly, as if we could disappear at any moment, "it's... nice," she believed, even before she adorned his memorial altar with flowers, which only made it nicer.

"Oh, don't give me that," he snapped, "this is a shithole and you know it. What happened to your ambition? Your drive? What happened to the woman I fell in love with?"

"I'm just, getting older and," we countered, and the colors kept shifting but I couldn't stop thinking.

"And yeah, so what, me too, I gave the better part of my life to build something with you, for us, and what did it mean to you?" he yelled, louder, more desperately, and I remember what it was like to be hurt and betrayed, and what thoughts we thought and feelings we felt, and it was too much, and I admired the feelings and the discomfort and the pain, and I wanted nothing more than to see through her side.

"It meant everything," she said through me, and I was exhausted because it was true, he was her whole life, and I felt all the love and hatred they had ever felt together, and she meant it-- it meant everything, but he wasn't listening and he shouldn't because she had hurt him so deeply, and she shouldn't listen either because her betrayal came from a place of neglect, and the entire time the hole in her chest grew bigger.

"Then why don't you act like it. What did I do wrong?" he said with an oncoming sob, and suddenly there were tears in my eyes too-- her tears-- because we had never seen him cry before, and we buried our face in our arms in shame, as if hiding our face would help us escape from this awful situation. But, as she escaped into my mind, we couldn't find comfort in thinking about him. So we found comfort in the idea of noodles with chopped chives and the other man, the one that mattered, as I came back to the room and her body and the shifting colors and I felt that same empty hole in my chest. Except, I don't have a chest. And now, as I look at her breathing on her bed, I can't help but think about what Remi said. Who is this woman without me?

I left. I couldn't do it anymore. I don't want to look at Cali and her empty, soulless body, and I don't even want to know where her soul went. I just want to be left alone. I floated through the walls of her home and the brightness of Market Street almost blinded me. I forgot how bright thousands of souls can be when they're together. A part of me wondered how such little mana could support so many people, but that thought wasn't mine, I don't think. Now I'm not really sure. I floated over them anyways, and they illuminated the darkness of whatever this space is called, and I remembered that she called it soulsight but hers is so much darker, and that's not fair because I didn't know that before she became me. But there was one soul in the midst of the crowd that caught my eye. It was Remi's. It was dark in the cabin, so dark, but now, surrounded by people, it sticks out by blocking the light of everyone else. And it's huge. I don't really know what I'm looking at. I floated closer and saw another familiar soul, and it took a moment to register it as Chloe's. I watched the two for a moment. I could see the shapes of her body outlined within her light but I couldn't see Remi's. It was as if he wasn't there at all. I got closer and tried to touch it, but I remembered our conversation and how I felt. I decided not to.

I followed them for a while and I almost wish I could hear what they're saying just so I could choose not to. They got on the train and I almost considered shifting into someone on the train, just so I could have some company, but I thought about where their soul would actually go. It's like I'm trapped by my own thoughts. This used to be so easy and now it's hard and I don't understand why. Do the others struggle with this too? Does anyone else care when they shift into people? I don't know why I care now, after all these years, but I looked at Remi and Chloe and she looked so tired. I got closer and watched her body movements, and anyone could tell she's exhausted. I got close enough to them and wondered if they could tell I'm here, and I wished that Chloe would join me, to connect like we did in the cabin, but I can't tell her I want to, and I don't know if she would even want to. I'm too scared to touch her. What if I make it worse? I don't know what to do. I want to go home. But where?

I tipped my landlord for paying my rent late, caught up on my bills, and now I've got just about two hundred silver to carry me to next week. So, like, a couple weeks of food, maybe. I'll need something to supplement my income. I got some looks on the train when I lit a cig without thinking and I snuffed it before anyone said anything. I've just been so absent-minded recently. There's too much to think about. Locria has been left almost three days without an Archmagus, and from the newspaper I borrowed from Deckard, civil unrest is stewing from the Eastern war that jackass left behind; maybe I could get a gig for crowd suppression or peacekeeping, but I'm not sure I have much expertise to offer as a Mana Mage, aside from severing arteries if it gets violent I guess, not that that interests me in particular. Maybe I would be better off with a Medic Magic gig, but I really don't like the way my arma feels when I'm healing, almost like it's sucking the mana out of my body through my soul. It's gross. For that matter, my soul is by all accounts perfectly functional. And yet, I still feel so weird. There's nothing I can even do about it. I could get a second opinion from a real soul doc? Ugh, which I could only do after a gig, assuming it even pays enough, but that would cut deeply into my food and grocery budget, which I can only afford this week thanks to... Remi. I wonder what the Church plans with him. If only they would tell me literally anything. I'm sure it's nothing, even if his soul is anomalous. Goddess Elkae is looking after him.

I arrived at the station by the front of South Gate beside all the horses' stables, and headed west to the Adventurer's Guild.

"Hey Chlowe!" great, that nickname again, "How's Deckard?" she called from behind the receptionist desk.

"Him before me, the one right in front of you? How charming. Thanks, Opie," I sneered.

"Call me that again, and you'll never have another commission," she said with a pout.

"Oh noooo, gonna Think me to death?" I laughed.

"Hey! I'll have you know that Thought and Polish is quite distinct nowadays!" she snapped, looking a bit more annoyed.

“Yeah, yeah,” I dismissed, “Deckard's fine. Another day, another sitting at the receptionist desk doing basically nothing. No offense.”

“Oh yeah, none taken, after all, all of us Agency Mages just sit around signing forms all day,” she said, mockingly.

“Is that not right?” I asked.

“Whatever, little miss fancy Mana Mage, busy doing exciting things like playing with people's souls all day or whatever. I'm glad to hear he's doing well though. Here for extra work?” she asked back.

"Right, yes," I waved, "what do you have for me today?"

"Grr, for you, nothing. But for everyone else, we have a fetch quest for fifty silver," pass, too cheap, "an administrative quest for two gold," not with my awful Paper Magic, "and a subjugation request."

"Really? A subjugation request? Could I see the form?" I asked, a bit shocked.

"I said, not for you," she said, still pouting.

"Okay, Miss Ophelia, may I please see the subjugation request form?" I repeated.

"Why yes dear, you may," she said as she handed me the paper.

FORM S-23 SIGN-UP AND LIABILITY WAIVER

Active:
● yes ○ no
Date Posted:
[2043-03-21]
Date Requested Fulfillment:
[2043-03-22]
Name of Requester:
[Church of Protection and Service]
Department:
[Adventurer's Guild]
Contact ID:
[213-49-2047]
Request Type:
[Subjugation ▼]
Purpose of Request:
[Public Health & Safety ▼]
Compensation:
[1g/50s/50c per party member]
Request Details:
[WHO WE ARE

The CPS is dedicated to protecting the peace of Locrian citizens by maintaining inter- and intra-national public roads, securing the outer perimeter of the City, and offering free public resources to Locrian citizens to live safer, more meaningful lives, under the grace of Goddess Leeka.

ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES

You are responsible for working in small parties of 2-4 people ("the subjugation team") to enter and completely eliminate all demons within the designated dungeon, and prepare safe passage for ("the expedition team") to collect all valuables before dungeon-collapse. You will identify risks, calculate strategies, design plans, and execute the CPR vision of providing safe harbor for merchants, transients, foreigners, and locals within the designated area.

This role is ideal for those looking for the opportunity to grow within the Locrian Church System and develop combat, bureaucratic, and leadership skills through direct, hands-on experience.

WHO YOU ARE

COMPENSATION
1 gold, 50 silver, 50 copper minimum, commensurate with education and experience.

BENEFITS
This position does not offer benefits. The CPR is an equal employment opportunity employer and will not discriminate on the basis of age, sex, or magic type, so long as the employee can fulfill the duties of their role and responsibilities.]

Current Signups
[Axel Slate / Warrior]
[Drossel Sylvae / Archer]
[Fymner Halvie / Mind Mage]
[_______/_______]

“Posted today, due tomorrow, and three people signed up already?” I asked. I looked around the typically busy front-office and saw only one other person in the room with us, a tall dwarf. Tall for his kind, anyways, still about half my height.

Opie sighed, “Yeah, unfortunately. Labor has been scarce ever since the war. The Church really took all the most talented combat laborers and shipped them to the East to get slaughtered. What real good that's done. No offense,” she added.

“None taken. Really. I'm poised to agree with you,” I reassured.

“Oh? That's surprising. I never hear you talk bad about the Church,” she said, looking shocked.

“It's just been a hell of a week,” I started, leaning against her desk with my elbow and my hand cupped on my cheek, “The Church has always been scarce on information, but ever since the Archmagus passed, it's only gotten scarcer.”

“Oooo, gossip! Tell me more,” she said, a little too happily.

I glanced at her, “I didn't take the offer. To go to the East, I mean. The offer was so good but, yeah, I didn't feel like killing myself in the name of the Goddess. They just sent me on some low-paying, routine grunt work instead.”

“Oof, that's rough,” she consoled me, “yeah, that makes sense. You would think with less labor around, the Church would pay a little more. But the requests have gone down, too.”

“Is that so?” I asked, looking up.

“Yeah, it's a mess. We've had multiple requests from merchants about dungeon subjugation. They're popping up more and more, these days, but it's not like citizens have enough money to throw at the problem. The South gate here, near us? Sure, with all the corpos porting between Ionia. But the other gates…” she trailed off. I hadn't heard about any of this. It sounds worse than the news reported.

“What about the Church of Part and Parcel?” I asked.

“Ha! Those clowns? More like the Church of Bits and Bobs, they don't even send us requests anymore. It's like they don't even exist,” she sneered.

“Hey,” I heard a gruff voice from behind me. I stood from the desk to look around and saw the tall dwarf from earlier, “new member?” he asked, barely moving his lips. Or maybe he did and I just couldn't see past his beard.

“Sir,” Opie started, “please respect patron privacy and respect social distancing.”

“No,” I interjected, “it's okay.” I turned to him and said, “I'm considering it. Why?”

“Healer, needed. Dungeon is big, dangerous,” he said curtly, and I couldn't tell if Western Standard was his second language or if he just talked like that.

“Ehh, I really don't like healing,” I started, but then started thinking about the compensation.

“My pay is yours. Locria, East Gate, needs help,” he said with a serious face, “Gate breached. Yesterday.”

“What? Really?” I said in shock.

Goddess Elkae, what is happening? What is your plan?

That's a gun. That's just a gun. That's a fucking gun and she's pointing it right at me. I fell back in my chair and scrambled back up as she continued pointing it right at my face.

"What the hell? You said you were on my side!" I yelled.

"Aren't you curious where you will wake up?" she asked and I felt something awful across my body, "Don't worry. It's designed to be painless." And I heard nothing before I respawned in my chair directly across from Sirrus and her desk.

"Now then," she said, pulling a piece of paper from under her desk, "take this."

"No! Stop, why did you kill me?" I asked, sweating uncomfortably. This is bad. This is really, really bad.

"It's called 'leverage'. We need you. And we need you not to escape."

I got up to leave, quickly, but I woke up back in the chair, across the desk yet again.

"Now then," she said again, pulling the same piece of paper out, "take this. Read this form," and I kept thinking of different ways to get out of this situation.

This is a very inconvenient time for my checkpoint to shift. If she knew about my Respawn Magic, does she also know the rules behind them? Does she know about the 5th Rule? Because if I'm right, and I'm sure I am, then my checkpoint is shifting based on what's most narratively convenient, and a situation in which I've been captured by an adversary is absolutely narratively convenient. Which means she must be conversing with her Goddess, the author of this world, to keep me tied to the overarching narrative-- a story which I have yet to discover, and I saw a glint in the corner of my eye.

"Now then, take this," she said for the third time, and that time, I didn't even realize I had been killed. Her gun is truly silent (for if it were loud, I would have heard something before dying right? Unless, the gun's bullet is faster than the speed of sound?) and painless, and the moments between them are practically immediate. Is she a Gun Mage? Or a Machinery Mage or something? Because how would a world without electricity produce a gun that's machined in such a modern way? If I were a gun otaku, I could analyze what model it's based off of because it looks so familiar. It's some kind of pistol, but it's huge, and I saw the same glint as before.

"Now then," she said, once again, for the fourth time, "take this," and she handed me the same piece of paper, "Read this form. And if I catch you trying to escape, or even thinking of a way to escape, then I will not hesitate to take you right back to where we started. Now, read."

PARTY COMBAT FORM S-44

Connection Live? □

[Axel Slate / Warrior]

[Drossel Sylvae / Archer]

[Fymner Halvie / Mind Mage]

[Chloe Einzweller / Mana Mage]

"I have been informed that this layout would look familiar to you," she said, and yes it does, because it looks like the kind of JRPG character sheet I would see in Final Fantasy. This is no longer speculation. This world, and everything in it, has been designed for me. "Now, do you know how to use it?" I gave her a long look, mostly lost in thought, and she continued, "I suppose not. Take your dominant hand and place it on the paper," and, not wanting to repeat this dialogue, I followed her command, "now, pay close attention to your heart." I tried, and I felt nothing.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can," and with that she pulled out her gun once more and I felt my heart beat faster and suddenly I knew what it meant to feel my heart, "Wait! I can. I can do it."

"Okay. Now feel the blood pumping through your veins, from your heart to your fingertips, and let that feeling flow into the paper, as if the tips of your fingers have been cut and your blood is staining the page." I closed my eyes and felt exactly what she meant. I can't feel much, but I can definitely feel something moving through my heart and veins and fingertips. It felt weak. Like how I could feel a little bit of static electricity after getting out of bed, but instead of electricity, it was something inside of me. And in a moment, I felt that feeling escape my fingertips. And I could feel the paper. Suddenly, I could see the form in my central vision, as if it were overlaid directly on top. This is what magic feels like?

"I see it," I said, and I just now recognized a familiar name: Chloe Einzweller. What does she have to do with this?

"Good. Then you've done it right," she replied, with the same voice she threatened me with, "Now, Missionary Fymner is linked directly with the form and in a few moments you'll be able to see and feel through him directly, and communicate with one another through thought."

The four were in the forest, walking directly on the path, and in the corner of my eye, I saw the character sheets displaying each party member's health, mana, and skills.

Hello? Archmagus, are you there? he thought to me.

What? I replied.

Oh, thank Elkae you're here. Let me brief you, he continued, Our Mana Mage, Chloe, is less experienced in healing, but she's highly trained in--

Chloe Einzweller? A missionary with the Church? I interjected.

Oh right! I'm sorry sir, please excuse my ignorance! I see that you are already aware of the situation with your Clairvoyance Magic, he said. What the hell is he talking about? Please, sir, guide us to victory. May Elkae bless us all.

I withdrew from the form and looked at Sirrus in confusion, "Who's the Archmagus? And what's Clairvoyance Magic?"

"The Archmagus is the leader of Locria, and Clairvoyance Magic is his, and his alone-- the power to see the future," she said, curtly.

"I see. That's what Fymner called me. Accidentally," I added partly to cope, and partly to confirm, and yet in some sense I expected what I heard next.

"No Remi, Fymner was not mistaken. Now, please. The form."

Great. So it's true. Every isekai protagonist is all but guaranteed to be granted an overwhelming and overpowered magic, and to be placed somewhere as the world's hero, and my power is to die awful deaths, and my place is in the hands of a Church unafraid to hand them to me.

Sir, we are entering the dungeon now, Fymner thought to me. The dungeon entrance looked awful and terrifying. Right in the middle of a clearing in the forest was a two-story tall, gaping red void that oozed out a black miasma, and the party walked right in with no hesitation, although I felt Fymner shiver. I saw who I assumed was Axel (because although I have some kind of heads up display, it remained in the corner instead of above their heads like I'm used to) due to the comically large axe he held which almost towered over him. An actual, real life dwarf. And yet, why have I only seen humans in the city? A question I repeated in my head again when I saw Drossel Sylvae, who I deduced was the last remaining, but given that she's an elf, I could have made a wild guess at the last name. She was truly beautiful, like all the women I've met in the main cast, with pointed ears that stuck out of her strikingly long, blonde hair that framed her tall, petite figure. Her bow would almost seem out of place if she hadn't handled it with grace. And behind them was Chloe. Fymner had his gaze stuck right on her like a pervert which pissed me off for some reason. Why am I so mad?

Fymner. Eyes up, I thought to him, and I wondered if anger could be telepathically transmitted as a tone of voice.

Sorry! Yes sir, he thought back.

The party walked through a dark cave, and I felt how warm and damp it was through Fymner's skin. And in a flash, everything happened at once. I saw Axel get pushed back with a clang, and Fymner was knocked to the ground and I felt every bit of the pain. Fymner looked down and saw a lone, sharp spear pierced through his abdomen but I felt it before he saw it, and began to cough violently in real life. Suddenly the image wavered and I saw my own hand above the desk with my left palm covered in blood. I snapped back to the image and saw Drossel's head roll to the side of the screen and it took everything in my power not to vomit. And then I saw Chloe with a stump for a right arm and I felt a stab in my chest, even though Fymner's was fine. And then the image was gone and all I saw was the desk.

"Well?" Sirrus asked, "What went wrong?" I was breathing rapidly and it still felt like there was a spear in my gut but I felt it hastily with my hand and there was nothing.

"An, an ambush," I stuttered out.

"When? How? With what?" she asked.

"Huh?" I replied.

"If you don't know, then do it again. How else do you expect to lead Locria to victory?" she raised her arm, and with a glint, I woke up once more, in front of her desk, wondering why this one subjugation request was so important.

"Now then, take this," she started, and I realized what the next week of my life would feel like.